The Simple Way To Feel Better About Midlife

 “You must be willing to let go of who you have been to become who you were meant to be.” – unknown.

Life transitions, whether chosen or imposed, require us to change, grow, and let go of one chapter of our life in order to move into the next with more grace.

Events like graduating college, starting your career, getting married, becoming a momma, getting divorced, managing a serious illness, or leaving the professional world to focus on your family, involve significant changes to your lifestyle and your identity.  

A major transition that definitely challenges our identity is midlife.

Midlife is like a slow burn. It’s a lot of little changes over many years.  You kind of wake up one morning, look in the mirror and not even recognize the person staring back at you.

You have obvious changes in your body, skin, and hair that creep in. Then add in some age-related health challenges and lack of energy. Not to mention, confusion around your purpose, some career apathy, feeling less connected to your partner, and a myriad of other challenges. With all that, you don’t know who you are and life kind of sucks.

When I turned 52, I checked all these boxes and I felt stuck. All the things that I once found fulfilling started to have less meaning.  I was confused because I had a good life.  I focused on counting my blessings and using all of my resources to ride out the days.  Ride it out — like on a mechanical bull.  

Midlife can feel like this.  It spins you around and rocks your world.  You hold onto whatever you can so you don’t get knocked off.  I was holding on for sure.

But, I realized what I needed to do was  —  LET GO.   

I let go of what I thought my life should look like at this point.

I let go of the regret that lingered from the past.

I let go of believing that my body was breaking down.

I, especially, let go of the idea that the best years are behind me.

With help from my coaching training, I began to untangle the mental knots, shift the narrative, and move into the second half of my life without holding onto who I used to be or what I thought my should look like. This work moved me towards more acceptance, confidence, and excitement.

“Letting Go” sounds simple but it is not easy. But, you can do one specific thing to start changing the narrative around your midlife self and invite in more acceptance and excitement by doing this: 

Ask Better Questions. That’s it!

To get better answers you have to ask better questions. Here are some to get you started:

• What are the benefits of getting older?

• In what ways is my life better than in my 20s or 30s?

• How is my body working for me?

• What am I looking forward to?

• What do I still want to do, see, learn, and explore?

• How can I contribute more?

Each of us will have a different experience and challenges with midlife. But, I promise you that when you ask better questions, you’ll shift your focus from what’s not working and what’s wrong to what is working and what is right.

Change the way you look at your life and your life will begin to look differently.

I’d love to hear from you. Let me know one way your life is better today than in your 20’s and 30’s?